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Pure adult joke

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Syedsha756User is offline now
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#1
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”-----------------
1 thanks:
amit303,

QwertyUpiUser is not available now
[PM 4081]
Rank : Junkie
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#2
laughing
snnboo12User is not available now
[PM 1989]
Rank : Beginner
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#3
Hahahahah this is great
daz007User is not available now
[PM 4128]
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#4
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."-----------------
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amit303,
john_honaiUser is not available now
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#5
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."-----------------
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amit303,
MrNobodyUser is not available now
[PM 4323]
Rank : Average Member
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#6
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
BannedUser is not available now
[PM 3106]
Rank : Junior Member
Status : Member

#7
make my dayy ?
daz007User is not available now
[PM 4128]
Rank : Average Member
Status : Member

#8
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
lolutan9999User is not available now
[PM 2713]
Rank : Junior Member
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#9
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
lolutan9999User is not available now
[PM 2713]
Rank : Junior Member
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#10
"Daddy, where did I come from?" seven-year-old Rachel asks. It is a moment for which her parents have carefully prepared. They take her into the living room, get out several other books, and explain all they think she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. Then they both sit back and smile contentedly. "Does that answer your question?" the mom asks. "Not really," the little girl says. "Judy said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from."
lolutan9999User is not available now
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#11
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
lolutan9999User is not available now
[PM 2713]
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Status : Member

#12
Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge. Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"
lolutan9999User is not available now
[PM 2713]
Rank : Junior Member
Status : Member

#13
A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs Viagra. The mom asks, "Why on Earth do you need that?!" The little boy says, "Isn't that what you give daddy when his sh*t doesn't get hard?"
lolutan9999User is not available now
[PM 2713]
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#14
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
lolutan9999User is not available now
[PM 2713]
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Status : Member

#15
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong, dearest?" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?" "Well," replied the man, "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"
lolutan9999User is not available now
[PM 2713]
Rank : Junior Member
Status : Member

#16
What did the egg say after he was put in a pot of boiling water? I just got laid by a chick and now I'm getting hard.
daz007User is not available now
[PM 4128]
Rank : Average Member
Status : Member

#17
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
daz007User is not available now
[PM 4128]
Rank : Average Member
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#18
Knock Knock!
Who's There?
May I come in?
May I come in who?
May I come in you!
daz007User is not available now
[PM 4128]
Rank : Average Member
Status : Member

#19
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
daz007User is not available now
[PM 4128]
Rank : Average Member
Status : Member

#20
An old married couple are in church one Sunday…
When the woman turns to her husband and says, “I’ve just let out a really long, silent fart. What should I do?”
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Keywords:family, dinner, father, surprised, answers, through, phases, breasts, melons, hanging, onions, infuriated, daughter, different, willies, mother, smiles, mighty,
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