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Funny sms

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#1
1. Mobile Ka Vitamin
Na Jany Kon Sa Vitamin Hai Mobile Me
Ek Din Use Na Karun To
Kamzori Mehsoos Hony Lagti Hai.


2. Itni Piyari
Meri Wali To Itni Piyari Hai K
Sirf Log Hi Nahi,
Rotiyan Bhi Us Se Jal Jati Hen


3. Rasta
Dost Teri Yaad Me Susu Lag Gaya..
Dost Teri Yaad Me Susu Lag Gaya..
Ye Bhi Aansu Hi Hai Pagly,,
Bas Zara Sa Rasta Badal Gaya..


4. Total Safai
"Safai Nisf Emaan Hai"
Iska Ye Matlab To Nahi Hai K Aap
Sara Din Apni Naak Me Ungli Daaly Raho..
Fairgh Bethi Thi Socha Aapko Bata Dun.


[b]5. Wazan
Soch Rahi Hun K Thora Wazan Barha Loon,,
Log Aaj Kal Mujhy Halky Me Le Rahy Hen..


6.Single
Ek Muddat Baad Kisi Larki Ny "I Love U" Kaha..
Maary Khushi K "Same To U" K Bajaye "Shame To U" Keh Diya..
Wo Kehny Lagi "Saaly Tu Single Hi Mary Ga


7.Khujoor
Meri Sadgi Hi Mujh Ko Maar Gai
Wo "Date" Ka Kehti Rahi Aur Me Khujoor Lata Raha


8. Dimagh Kam Tha
Hamen To Apno Ny Loota Ghairon Me Kahan Dam Tha
Best Friend Bhi Aisa Mila Jis Ka Dimagh Kam Tha


9. Bandar Kehta
Me Aapko Chand Kehta,
Lekin Usme Bhi Daag Hai
Me Aapko Suraj Kehta,
Lekin Usme Bhi Aag Hai..
Me Aapko Bandar Kehta,
Lekin Usme Bhi Dimagh Hai[color]

[color=red]10. Munni Badnaam Ho Gai
Hum pe Mar K Munni Badnaam Ho Gai
Wah Wah Wah
Hum pe Mar K Munni Badnaam Ho Gai,
Akele Ho Gaye Thy Munni K Bina
Ye Acha Hua Kambakhat Sheela Time Pe Jawan Ho Gai


11. Motapay Se Mat Daren
Agar Aapka Pait Bahar Nikal Raha Hai To
Ghabrayen Nahi Usay Nikalny Den..
Aakhir Sab Ka Dil Kerta Hai
Bahar Ghoomny Ka


12. Samajhdaari
Waqt Waqt Ki Baat Hai
Kabhi Ghar Me Pary Rehny Walon Ko Nikamma Kaha Jata Tha,
Magar Aaj Kal Hamari Samajhdaari Ki Misalen Di Jati Hen

idjUser is not available now
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#2
13. Only Chocolate
Dentist: What Kind Of Filling Do You Want In Your Tooth..??
Pappu: Only Chocolate..


14. Gandhi Ji K 3 Bandar
Gandhi Ji K 3 Bandar Banany K Bajaye
Agar Ek He Bandar Ko Mobile De Diya Jata To
Teeno Kaam Ho Jaty.
Na Wo Dekhta, Na Sunta, Na Hi Kuch Bolta


15. Repeat Saas
Brahma Ji Ki Chetavni:
WhatsApp Per Repeat Post
Kerny Waly K Agly Janam Me
Jeevan Sathi Bhi Repeat Hoga Aur Wo Bhi Repeat Saas K Sath


16. Internet Per
Internet Per Ladki Pataai,
Internet Per Ho Gai Sagaai,
Internet Per Hi Divorce Ho Gaya,
Isi Bahany Computer Ka Course Ho Gaya


17.Bhabhi Ji Namasty
Yun Dekha Na Kero Hamen Hansty Hansty
Yun Dekha Na Kero Hamen Hansty Hansty
Mere Dost Bohat Gustakh Hen
Keh Dengy Tumhen Bhabhi Ji Namasty


18. Toilet
Akshay's New Movie Toilet Ko Dekhny K Liye Aap Friends Ko Kese Kahen Gy??
"Chalo Toilet Dekhny Chalte Hen."
Aur Maza To Tab Aayega Jab
Aap Apna Whatsapp Status Updates Karengy
At Toilet With GF And Two Other Friends


19. Me Kiya Kerun
Boy: Tujh Me Rab Dikhta Hai, Yara Me Kiya Kerun.?
Girl: Tu Darshan Le, Dakshna De,
Aashirvad Le Aur Nikal Le.
Line Me Aur Bhi Log Khary Hen


20. Breaking News
Breaking News..
Ek Choohay Ne Ek Poora Suit Kutar K Kha Lia,
Magar Wo Phir Bhi Bhook Se Mar Gaya
Q k
Wo SUIT
Mallika Sharawat
Ka Tha



idjUser is not available now
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#3
21. 1000 ka Sawal
Son On Phone:
Maa Me KBC se Bol Raha Hun.
Mere Pitaji ka Naam kya hai.?
Maa: Sawal Kitne ka Hai?
Santa: 1000 ka..
Maa: Quit kar de Kamine,
1000 k Liye Ghar me Talwaren Chalwaega Kya


22.Aakhri Khuwahish
Marty Huwe Sharabi Se
Bhagwan Ny Us Ki Aakhri Khuwahish Puchi..
Sharabi: Agly Janam Me
Mujhy Daant Beshak Ek Hi Dena,
Magar Liver 32 Dena.
Ek Dety Ho,
Sala Itni Jaldi Kharab Ho Jata Hai


23. South Indian Movies
Everything Is Fair In
Love,
War
And
.
.
.
.
.
South Indian Movies


24.Bcoz Item Means "Maal"
Maal Means "Paisa"
Paisa Means "Laxmi"
Aur
Ladkiyan to Ghar Ki Laxmi Hoti Hen.
.
"Rishta Wohi Soch Nayi"


25. Rajnikant Garba Me Dhol
Rajnikant Garba Me Dhol Baja Raha Tha..

Achanak Dharti Per Kuch Aliens Aye Aur
Kehny Lagy:

Yaar Rajnikant,Hamary Bachon K Exam Chal Rahy Hen.
Zara Ahista Dhol Bajao,
Hamara Planet Disturb Ho Raha Hai


26. Aap Sab Janty Hen
Najoomi: Aap Ny Kal Hi 10 Kilo Chawal Kharide Hen.
Admi: Aap Mahaan Hai Maharaj,
Aap Sab Janty Hen.
Najoomi: Saaly Agli Baar Apni Kundli Lana,
Rashan Card Nahi


27. Itni Jaldi Q Utha Liya
45 Years Old Lady:
Hey Bhagwan, Mujhy Itni Jaldi Q Utha Liya.??

Yamraj: Neechy Tu Apny Pati Ka Dimagh Chaat rahi Thi
Yahan Mera,,
Ziyada Dimagh Ki Dahi Mat Ker,,
March Me Closing Chal Rahi Hai,
Target Pura Kerna Hai


28.Sacha Desh Bhagt
Teacher: Batao Sacha Desh Bhagt Kon hota hai?

Sardar: Sir Ji, Jo English Toilet Seat Per bhi
Indian Style me Bethta ho

idjUser is not available now
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#4
29.Star Plus Shayeri
Star Plus Shayeri..
Ek Bhaalu Roz Ek Larki Se Milny Jata Hai..
Wah Wah..
Ek Bhaalu Roz Ek Larki Se Milny Jata Hai..
Ab Tum Hi Batao
"Ye Rishta Kiya Kehlata Hai


30. Toilet
Aaj Kal K Bachon Ny Parhna Chhor Diya.
Wah Wah..
Aaj Kal K Bachon Ny Parhna Chhor Diya.
ACP Tha Toilet Me Aur DAYA Ny Darwaza Tor Diya



idjUser is not available now
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#5
31. Pati ki Umar
Ek Survey se Maloom hua hai k.
Agar Patni "Karwa chauth" k vrat ki bajay...
"MAUN VRAT" rakhe
To Pati ki Umar aur lambi ho sakati hai


32. Veg or Nonveg
Air hostess to Lalu Yadav:
Sir, R U Veg or Nonveg?
Lalu : Ka matlab:
Air hostess :
Sir Mera matlab hai,
Aap Shakahari hen Ya Masahari?
Lalu : Huttt sasuri.
I am Bihari


33. Mother Tongue
Argument Between British And India.
British: We Spoiled Your Mother Land
For 200 Years.
India: We Are Spoiling
Your Mother Tongue Daily


34. Boy Asked To Bhagwan
Boy Asked To Bhagwan:-
Why she loves rose which dies in a day.
But Doesn't love me who dies for her every day?
Bhagwan: Mast Point Hai
Facebook pe dal de.


35. Paaro To Devdas
Paaro: Kiya Tum Mere liye Chand tod k la sakte ho?

Devdas: Phir Dharti k Chakker Kiya Tera Baap lagayega



idjUser is not available now
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#6
36.Raat aur Suhagraat
Champa:Raat aur Suhagraat me kya fark hai?
Chameli:Suhagraat me Hum Sirf
Pati ke sath ho sakte hen.
Jab k Raat me aisi koi Pabandi nahi hai


37. Ghaas ho Tum
Gadha jo kha jaye wo Ghaas ho Tum.
Budhe Admi ka Chavanpras ho Tum.
Chahe Log kuch bhi Kahen,
Hum to yehi bolenge k bade Jhakass ho Tum

idjUser is not available now
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#7
38.Why does Rajnikanth Wear Sunglasses?
.
.
.
To protect the Sun from His Eyes

idjUser is not available now
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#8
39.Munna: Abey Curkit ye Baapu har Note pe Hasta q he re
Curkit: Simple he Bhai,
Agar Baapu Note me roega to Note Geela ho jayega

idjUser is not available now
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#9
PATI:Kaash Me GANPATI Hota,
Tum Meri Pooja Karti, Laddu Khilaati.
PATNI:Kaash Aisa Hota,
Phir Har Saal Visarjan Ke Baad
Me NAYA GANPATI Laati

idjUser is not available now
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#10
41.New Question in School Books:
Who invented the English Vowels

(A,E,I,O,U).?
.
.
.
.
Ans: Tusshar Kapoor in Film Golmaal

idjUser is not available now
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#11
42. Shadi Se Pehly
Question: Bhagwan ko Ghussa Kab aata hai?
Ans: Jab koi Ladki shaadi se pehle
Pregnant ho jaye aur
Uski Maa Kahe,
Hey Bhagwan Ye Tu ne kiya kiya?

idjUser is not available now
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#12
43. Divorce
Mrs Dass has Divorced Mr Dass.
Now She is.
.
.
.
BinDass

idjUser is not available now
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#13
44.I Think
Teacher: Who was Chandragupta Maurya?
.
Santa: I think he was Brother of
.
.
GANPATI BAPPA MAURYA

idjUser is not available now
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#14
45. Saas Di Photo
Savita Kumari Shadi ke liye
Ladka dekhne Gai.
Ladke ke Ghar Entry lene
se pehle Prayer krny Lagi:
.
Perbhu ya te Saas
Changi hove,
Ya te Us di
Photo Tangi hove

idjUser is not available now
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#15
46. BJP Ka Parchar
Ek Larke Ne Ek Larki Ko Kamal Ka Phool Diya
Larki Ne Usko Ek Thappad Mar Diya
Larka Bola Me To BJP Ka Parchar Kar Raha Hun
Larki Boli Me Bhi Congress Ka Parchar Kar Rahi Hun

idjUser is not available now
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#16
47. Ek Larki Match dekhne gayi
Ek Larki Match dekhne gayi,
Lips par India ke Tirange ka rang laga tha,
Ek Larka aaya Kiss kar gaya or Bola:
I LOVE MY INDIA

idjUser is not available now
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#17
]48. I Will Marry
Father: You Should Marry This Girl.
She is Kalavati, Gunwanti, and Roop mati.
Son: I'll have to Marry My Girlfriend,
coz She is Garbhavati

idjUser is not available now
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#18
49. Aadat
Husband : Shadi se pehly mere 15 larkiyon k saath affairs thy.
Wife : Mujhy pata tha k jab Kundli mil gai hai to
Aadaten bhi zarur milti hon gi

idjUser is not available now
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#19
50. Bhootni
Tantrik Apnay Ek Bhagt Say :Beta Tum Par Ek Bhootni Ka Sayaa Hai.
Bhagt :Babaa Main Thappar Maar Dongaa,
Ager Meri Patni Kay BaRe
Mein Kuch Kahaa Toh
[

idjUser is not available now
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#20
51.Ek Aurat Company Me Manager Se Milne Gayi or bahar chaprasi se pucha-Sahab se mil sakti hu
Chaprasi-Ha,khubsurt aurate unse kabhi bhi mil sakti hai
Aurat-Thik hai unko jakar bolo unki biwi aayi hai

idjUser is not available now
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#21
52.Beti:Maa GAON Me Bollywood Wale Aye Hen
Maa:Andar Aja Inki Niyat Boht Khrab Hoti Hy
Beti:Maa Imran Hashmi B Aya Hy
Maahir To Bakri Ko Bhi Andar Le Aa

idjUser is not available now
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#22
53.Arz Karta Hu.
Tute hue dil ka murabba bana gayi,
Ghar ko mere kachre ka dabba bana gayi,
Nikah ke 3 mahine hi guzre the,
Na jane kis hisab se ABBA bana gyi.

idjUser is not available now
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#23
54.EK Bache ne Darwaz Khola aur
apni Didi k boyfriend ko dekh k Masumiyat se Bola
Aap Roz didi se Milne aate ho aapki apni didi nahi hai kya?

idjUser is not available now
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#24
55.Rikshewala: Bus Stop k 20 rs.
Santa: Saman b sath me hai.
Riskhewala:- Saman Free hai.
Santa:- Okay saman le chal maine padal aata hu.

idjUser is not available now
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#25
56.Sabse Zyada Vitamin C mirchi Me hota hai

Yakin Na ho to Kaha k Dekho Body k sab parts C C karnge

idjUser is not available now
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#26
]57.Arz Karta Hu..

Dil me Basaya unhe Jaanu Bana kar
Wah wah

Dil me basaya Unhe jaanu Bana kar
Wah wah
Kambaqht Wo kisi aur k Saath bhag gayi Hume mamu bana kar

idjUser is not available now
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#27
58.2 Behre
Ek behra dusre se- Nahane ja rahe ho?

Dusra behra- Nahi, nahane ja raha hu

Pehla- Acha, mujhe laga nahane ja rhe ho

idjUser is not available now
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#28
59.Kirayedar- Malik rat me kamre me chuhe bahot nachate hai.
Malik-Arrey 500 rs kiraya dete ho, itne rupayo me kya SHAKIRA ko nachau fir?

RockstarUser is not available now
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#29

lolutan9999User is not available now
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#30
some jokes from me:


I hate when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It's not like I did anything!


I can't find my "Gone in 60 seconds" DVD.
It was here a minute ago!

A Bengali friend of mine told me that a third babe is coming!
Should I be delighted or agonised?
lolutan9999User is not available now
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#31
Dear Punjabis and Delhiites,
WFH is "Work from Home" not "Work from Himachal"!


Why do astronauts use Linux?
Because you can't open Windows in space!
lolutan9999User is not available now
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#32

As a parent what you want and what you need is usually the same thing and that thing is, always sleep!


I was forced to swallow purple food color.
I feel violated!
lolutan9999User is not available now
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#33
Psychiatrist: Do any of your relatives suffer from mental illness?
Man: No... they all seem to enjoy it!

Certain beers give me a terrible hangover.
I investigated and I think it's the 9th beer!
lolutan9999User is not available now
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#34
The best thing about social media is how it teaches you about life.
Yes, that's the joke!

The very best part of any vacation is coming home and sleeping in your own bed!
lolutan9999User is not available now
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#35
You don't realize how much stuff needs labeling until you buy a label-maker!


Someone laughing after they are finished crying is the human equivalent of a rainbow!
lolutan9999User is not available now
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#36

Me: I live every day dangerously.
Friend: Are you into adventure sports?
Me: No, but I'm married and I live with my wife!
lolutan9999User is not available now
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#37
Son: If we got another dog, where would it sleep?
Mom: The question isn't where would the dog sleep. It's where would your dad sleep!


lolutan9999User is not available now
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#38

Pro Tip for girls:
Date ugly guys.
because chances of cheating are very low.
And vice versa!
lolutan9999User is not available now
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#39

As a child, it seemed like parents had eyes on the back of their heads. As adults, it's clear that little kids are extremely predictable!


lolutan9999User is not available now
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#40

Similarities between Corporate Meetings and Ladies Shopping

Corporate Meetings:
Show me the next slide.
The figures are not looking good (in the graph chart).
All eyes should be on us.
Something is still missing.
Do we have a plan B?
Make it fast, we have to close it ASAP.

Ladies Shopping:
Bhaiya Wo Agli Wali Dikhao.
Bhaiya Wo Pehli Wali Dikhao.
Is Mein Meri Figure Achhi Nahi Lag Rahi.
Sab Ka Dhyaan Meri Taraf Hi Hona Chahiye.
Ummm... Kuch To Kami Lag Rahi Hai.
Koi Dusri Dress Hai?
Behen Ji Jaldi Karo Dukaan Band Karni Hai
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#41
The more you look, the less you see
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#42
Manager: What is your qualification?
Pappu: I’m Ph.D.
Manager: What do you mean by Ph.D.?
Pappu: Passed high school with difficulty.
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Keywords:mobile, vitamin, kamzori, mehsoos, piyari, rotiyan, matlab, fairgh, single, muddat, khushi, bajaye, khujoor, dimagh, ghairon, friend, bandar, badnaam,
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