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+18 ****Adult Jokes****

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#1
Sex Jokes – A collection of new and old dirty adult jokes that will put a cheeky smile on your face.

image-----------------
2 ❤:
Crash_TV_,amit303,

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#2
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
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#3
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
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#4
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
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#5
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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#6
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.-----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
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#7
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

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#8
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”
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#9
A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place?" "Yeah!" "Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?" Later on the girl is yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!" The younger brother says, "Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!"
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#10
After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
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#11
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"
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#12
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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#13
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!" laughing
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#14
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
no
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#15
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway." bye1
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#16
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom fainted. laughing
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#17
A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison." And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again. The bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," to which the husband yelled, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!!!"
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#18
One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."


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#19
There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.

bye1
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#20
A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."
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#21
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?" "Well, it's where you get your girl down on all four, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her t*ts, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.' Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."
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#22
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
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#23
A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex. After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?" The mom said, "We were baking a cake." A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake?" She said yes, and asked him how he knew. He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch."
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#24
Good Job keep updating bro...

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#25
Johnny wanted to have s#x with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me
screw you. But the girl said NO.
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.
She responded, "The idiot used coins!" cry1
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#26
Very funny and best jokes
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#27
hahahaha excellent ones
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#28
What did the clitoris say to the vulva?
“It’s all good in the hood!”
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#29
My girlfriend asked me if I smoke after sex…
I said I haven’t looked.
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#30
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)”
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#31
How did you quit smoking?
I decided to smoke only after sex.
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#32
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
Ones a Goodyear. The other is a great year.
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#33
hahahaha .. nice ones
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#34
-Lets have sex
+No, it cannot be that way, you should be more romantic.
- You like stars right darling?
+Yes
-Lets have sex in a 3 star hotel
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#35
Dubai special

Husband and his wife went to Dubai...

Husband Got into Mood & said
"Dear pehle room pe chale ya Burj Khalifa pe ...?
.
.
.
.

Wife: "ROOM hi chalo ,
Burj Khalifa to kal bhi Khada Rahega"
??????-----------------
1 ❤:
KAKOO,
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#36
Son: I dont like masturbution

Dad: What r u talking

Son: He punishes me & gives lot of homework

Dad: Behenchod naam toh thik se bol, Master Bhushan hai woh.

????
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#37
एक मेडिकल रिप्रजेंटेटिव सुहाग रात को बीवी से सेक्स कर रहा था।
बीवी: यह तुम्हारा अपना है क्या?
मेडिकल रिप्रजेंटेटिव: क्या मतलब?
बीवी: वो मेडिकल रिप्रजेंटेटिव के पास अक्सर सैम्पल(SAMPLE) ही होते हैं न!
?????????
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#38
“Kaccha papad pakka papad”
toh koi bhi bol sakta hai…
.
.
Ab zara yeh bol ke dikhao…

“A Good Cook could cook good”
.
.
.
.
Kya hua…?
Ho gayi na kud-kud-kud-kud…

??????
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#39
लड़की ने फेसबुक स्टटे्स अपडेट किया
Feeling awesome

Ex Boyfriend ने कमेन्ट् किया

दे आई ?

??????
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#40
Market ki Maa chod dega yeh.....
!!!!!

एक आदमी गुस्से में बीबी से
बोला...
दिल करता है कि तेरे टुकड़े टुकड़े कर के
बाहर फेंक दूँ ।
अचानक पड़ोस में से आवाज आई.....



भाई चूत इधर फेंकना ।
???????


मेरी शौहरत की बुलंदियों को देखकर हैरान हैं लोग

पर किसी ने मेरी चूत की सूजन नही देखी

-सनी लियोन??
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#41
लड़की दूकानदार से:- CONDOM देना.

दूकानदार(मस्ती मैं):- किस लिए!

लड़की (गुस्से से):- तेरे बाप को गिफ्ट करूँगी, ताकि तेरे जैसा दूसरा चुतिया पैदा ना करे
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#42
Fully Latest ??
??? ??????
मास्टर - कल स्कुल क्यूँ नहीं आये?
बबलू - गल्फ्रेंड से मिलने गया था .
मास्टर - किस लिये ?
बबलू - येस सर.
मास्टर - मैंने पूछा किस लिये?
बबलू - लिये सर बहुत लिये...
??????
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#43
?????
गन्या लाइट गेल्यामुळ मेनबत्ती घेउन हागायला निघालेला,,



कोनी तरी आला आनि फुक मारुन म्हनाला
हैपी बर्थडे टु यु...


आणि मग गण्या म्हणाला
मादरचोद !केक खाल्ल्याशिवाय जाऊ नको भाड्या !!!!! !!??????
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#44
बाप : बेटा जब हम जवान थे 10 रु में जी भर
के दुध पिया करते थे.।

बेटा : पापा मजे थे आपके

आजकल तो 300 रु. मे कोई दबाने भी
नहीं देती!!
.
.
.
.
.
.बाप: तेरी माँ की mai भैंस के दूध की बात कर रहा हु भोसड़ी के
दे थप्पड़... दे थप्पड़.. दे थप्पड़!!
??????
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#45
A pole in the hole, make a new soul...
Sex is game
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#46
KAMASUTRA says that.. sex is..

Duty- if done with ur wife..
Art- if done with ur love..
Education- if done with a virgin..
Tution- if done with ur teacher..
Job- if done with your boss/secretary..
Science- if done with a fertile lady..
Business- if done with a prostitute..
Social work - if done with ur neighbour
Charity- if done with a widow
Sacrifice- if done with ur own hand
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#47
Unsay kaho hum se jalna chhod de
... Ay dost..

Hum to woh siyah bakht hain agar kholayn
LOTAY Ki Dukan,,
to log Hagna
chhod den.. :-D
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#48
Khawabon main chally ao!!!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
k humain "Ahtlam"ho jaye tumhain bhi dard na ho aur humara bhi kam ho jaye"

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#49
टीचर : “बताओ लड़कियां ब्रा क्यों पहनती है ? ”पप्पू : साइन्स की वजह से” टीचर : “वो कैसे” पप्पू : “क्योंकि साइन्स भी.... इस बात को मानती है की खाने पीने की चीज़ो को ढककर रखना चाहिए..... टीचर : मादरचोद"......? ????????
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#50
पडोसन की गांड मारते हुए पति को पत्नी ने देख लिया! रंगे हाथ पकड़े गये पति ने पत्नी को ऐसा जवाब दिया कि पत्नी खुश हो गई!
"मैंने पहले ही बोला था कि जो कोई भी तेरे बारे में भला बुरा बोलेगा उसकी मैं गांड मार दूँगा!"
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#51
The latest bra from Victoria's Secret is called English Soccer.
So much publicity... so much hope... but it has no cup!
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#52
There are 2 ways of living life:
1. Ab Kya Hoga Bhenchod
2. Bhenchod Jo Hoga Dekha Jayega
Place Bhenchod correctly and move on in life!
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#53
Why underwear is named Langoti in Hindi?
Because it takes care of 1 Lund and 2 Gotis!
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#54
KAMASUTRA says that.. sex is..

Duty- if done with ur wife..
Art- if done with ur love..
Education- if done with a virgin..
Tution- if done with ur teacher..
Job- if done with your boss/secretary..
Science- if done with a fertile lady..
Business- if done with a prostitute..
Social work - if done with ur neighbour
Charity- if done with a widow
Sacrifice- if done with ur own hand
VenomUser is not available now
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#55
Aids awareness slogan:

Cover ur stump b4 u pump
dont b silly, protect ur jelly..
AIDS is no joke
wrap b4 u poke
dont be fool
condomize ur tool... ;-)
VenomUser is not available now
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#56
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine,

I can put mine in yours, but you can’t put yours in mine.

Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine,

I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
VenomUser is not available now
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#57
Boy: How much calcium is there in ladies’ Breasts?

Girl: I don’t have any thought..
yet it has enough calcium to push a Man’s boneless thing to standup! ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
VenomUser is not available now
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#58
Khawabon main chally ao!!!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
k humain "Ahtlam"ho jaye tumhain bhi dard na ho aur humara bhi kam ho jaye"
VenomUser is not available now
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#59
Ek Baar Bandar Aur Girrafe Mein Deal Hoti Hai Ki Teri Biwi Meri Aur Meri Biwi Teri.
Kuch Din Baad Girraffe Bandar Ko Milne Aata Hai Aur Dekhta Hai To Bandar Niche Gira Pada Hai, Muh Se Zaag Nikal Rahi Hoti Hai.
Girraffe: “Arey Kya Hua Tujhe?”
Bandar: “Bhenchod, Apni Biwi Wapas Le Ja.”
Girraffe: “Kyu? Kya Hua? Maza Nahi Aaya?”
Bandar: “Maza? Bhenchod Kiss Karne Upar Chadho, Mamme Dabane Niche Aao, Chodne Pichhe Jao, Bhenchod Gand Fat Gayi Meri Daud Daud Ke”
VenomUser is not available now
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#60
एक महिला डॉक्टर के पास गयी और बोली:
मेरे घुटने सूज गये है, इनकी सूजन कम करने की दवाई दे दो।
डॉक्टर- ये चोट तुम्हे कैसे लगी?
महिला- चोट-वोट नही लगी है, मेरे पति मुझे हमेशा कुतिया बनाकर चोदते है, तभी इनमें सूजन आ गयी है।
डॉक्टर- तो किसी दूसरे स्टाइल में चुदा करो, और भी तो तरीके है चुदने के।
महिला- है तो…पर उनसे मेरा TV सीरियल मिस हो जाता है।
Conrad1234User is not available now
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#61
very very good ones, thanks
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#62
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
the_princeUser is not available now
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#63
Patni: Nashta Karlo.
Husband: Sex hi Mera nashta hai.
(Aur pati sex kame lag jata haj)

Dopahar ko Patni : Lunch Karlo.

Husband: Sex hi Mera lunch hai, •
(Aur pati sex kame lag Jata haj)

(Raat k0 jab pati ghar aata hai toh Patni panty utaar kar
heater ke aago baithi hoti haj)

Husband: Ye kya hai

Patni : Hawas ke pujari khana
garam kar rahi hun.


-----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
the_princeUser is not available now
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#64
पिंकी= बस में अपने बॉयफ्रेंड की गोद में बैठी थी

पिंकी ने कंडक्टर से कहा बस धीरे चलाओ जटके बहुत ज्यादा लग रहे हैं

कंडक्टर= मैडम जी गोदी में से उठ कर देख बस तो कब से खड़ी है ।

-----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
the_princeUser is not available now
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#65

पिंकी=को इंग्लिश बोलने का बहुत शौक था
शादी = की पहली रात उसे पता लगा कि उसके पति का सिर्फ एक ही पैर है
पिंकी- गुस्से में मायके जाकर अपनी मां से बोली मां मेरे पति का सिर्फ 1 फुट है
मां = हैरान होकर बोली बेटी तुझे और कितना बड़ा चाहिए


-----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
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#66
तेज बारिश में बस स्टॉप पर खड़ा पप्पू एक लड़की के निप्पल को देखकर बोला
आपकी हेड लाइट ऑन है

लड़की बिजली मेरी खर्च हो रही है या तेरी

पप्पू मगरलोड तो मेरे खंबे पर पड़ रहा है
-----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
the_princeUser is not available now
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#67
Patni= प्लीज जरा यह ब्रा का हुक लगा दीजिए

pati= मैं इसके बदले 3 चुंबन लूंगा

patni= रहने दो जी- पड़ोसी से फ्री में लगवा लेती हूं
वह हाथ डालकर सेट भी कर देगा
-----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
the_princeUser is not available now
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#68
पप्पू को लेडीस गारमेंट शॉप पर सेल्समैन की नौकरी मिल गई

वहां पर एक लड़की आई और उसने कहा अंडरवेयर दिखाओ

पप्पू = शर्माते हुए बोला आज नहीं पहना ।



-----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
daz007User is not available now
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#69
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."-----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
daz007User is not available now
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#70
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!" -----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
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#71
??
TesterguyUser is not available now
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#72
so funny hahah
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#73
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."-----------------
1 ❤:
amit303,
daz007User is not available now
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#74
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
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#75
??
daz007User is not available now
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#76
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
Person1234User is not available now
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#77
What kind of bees make milk?

Boo-bees.
Person1234User is not available now
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#78
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.
Person1234User is not available now
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#79
Welcome to the sexual inneundo club.

Thank you all for coming.
Person1234User is not available now
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#80
Are you an elevator?

Because I want to go up and down on you.
daz007User is not available now
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#81
Patni: Nashta Karlo.
Husband: Sex hi Mera nashta hai.
(Aur pati sex kame lag jata haj)
Dopahar ko Patni
: Lunch Karlo.
Husband: Sex hi Mera lunch hai, •
(Aur pati sex kame lag Jata haj)
(Raat k0 jab pati ghar aata hai toh Patni panty utaar kar
heater ke aago baithi hoti haj)
Husband: Ye kya hai
Patni : Hawas ke pujari khana
garam kar rahi hun.

gmardikarUser is not available now
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#82
05 "ADULT"one liners

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives forty miles away.


daz007User is not available now
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#83
Three brothers are traveling along a road, and their car dies. They all get out of the car, and start walking to a barn that's a little ways away. When they get their, the farmer comes out of the barn, and offers them a room for one night. He says to the first one, "You can sleep with the pigs," the second guy," you can sleep with the cows", and the third guy, "I like the cut of your jib. You can sleep with my 18 daughters." The next morning, he asks everyone how they slept. The first man said, "I slept like a pig." The second man said ,"I slept like a cow." The third guy said, "I slept like a rabbit. I jumped from hole, to hole, to hole."
daz007User is not available now
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#84
What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married?


The wedding ring.
daz007User is not available now
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#85
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
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#86
Ha ha ha, I've been reading all day
daz007User is not available now
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#87
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
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#88
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? A. Thanks for coming!
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#89
xaxaxaxa
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