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Jokes_Unlimited |
Page: 9 | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#161 What does a house wear? Address! | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#162 Where does a waitress with only one leg work? IHOP. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#163 Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents! | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#164 What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I’ll hang around. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#165 What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#166 I started a new job as a tailor last week. It’s been sew-sew. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#167 What kind of shoes does a spy wear? Sneakers. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#168 I’ve been trying to make a sarcastic club, but it’s been really hard to tell if people are interested in joining or not. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#169 And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#170 What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#171 My wife accused me the other day of being too immature. I told her there were no girls allowed in my fort. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#172 Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. I still don’t know how I feel about that. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#173 I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#174 Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#175 What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come anyway. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#176 Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#177 A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#178 Seek and you shall find all the goodies | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#179 What’s does the hen say to the egg,lol | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#180 Humpty dumty sat on a wall | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#181 What’s does the hen say to the egg,lol | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#182 Brew the tonic dark and heavy said the drunkard | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#183 Always thought hades lived in the sewers apparently hades is the king of rats | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#184 Albert Einstein was a mad man,he admitted it himself,says man of low iq | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#185 Alexandra met his Waterloo when they encountered huge elephants first time in there life,they were terrified lol | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#186 Ambrosia was oysters but nobody knows | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#187 Ginger your swagger said the musician with a mouth full of weed. | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#188 If it’s good then I don’t want it,if it’s best give me all of it | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#189 Pledge your allegiance to the struggle, muster courage and dignity | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#190 All this to gain views so thrilling | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#191 Honey and stevia so sweet one makes you shiver the other gives you fever | |
Flacko [PM 202] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#192 I think I proved a point no pun intended | |
Maverick_007 [PM 308] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#193 Need more funny | |
Maverick_007 [PM 308] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#194 In Hinglish pls | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#195 संता ने एयरटेल के ऑफिस में फोन किया संता – मेरे फोन का बिल बहुत ज्यादा आया है इतनी तो मैंने बात भी नहीं की है बंता (एयरटेल से) – अच्छा आपका प्लान क्या है ? संता – अभी तो मार्किट आया हुआ हूँ शाम को दारू पिऊंगा…आप अपना बताइये ? ? | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#196 एक बुजुर्ग अपनी पुरानी मारुति से जा रहे थे.. कि एक BMW को ज़रा सी खरोंच लग गयी। BMW में से चार लम्बे चौड़े सरदार निकले और वृद्ध व्यक्ति की पिटाई की नौबत आ गयी। तभी बुजुर्ग ने कहा कि आप चार हैं और मैं अकेला, ये तो ना-इंसाफी है उन चारों सरदारों में जो सबसे बड़ा था, वो बोला, सुरजिते और अमार्जिते तुम अंकल की तरफ हो जाओ। बुजुर्ग बोला, “पर हम तो तीन हैं और आप दो ” तो उन मे से सुरजिते बोला: कोई बात नहीं अंकल जी आप घर जाओ, इन दोनो से हम निपट ! :Lol: | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#197 ?: एक हाथ में मक्खन रखो और एक हाथ में चूना… जहाँ जिसकी जरूरत पड़े उसको लगाते जाओ , लाइफ में कभी दुखी नहीं होगे…! ????? | |
daz007 [PM 4128] Rank : Average Member Status : Member | |
#198 Every man wants a beautiful wife, a smart wife, a loving wife, a sexy wife, and a cooperative wife. Sadly, bigamy is against the law. | |
sharmanitish [PM 309] Rank : Newbie Status : Member | |
#199 चंपक – “मम्मी, तुम्हें उस प्लेट की याद है, जिसकी तुम्हें हमेशा चिन्ता लगी रहती थी कि वह टूट न जाए? मम्मी – “हां, क्यों?” चंपक – “तुम्हारी चिंता खत्म हो गई।” | |
seyiadams85 [PM 2464] Rank : Junkie Status : Member | |
#200
So we can't find all in one woman??? There goes my hopes of getting married | |
Sisqonite [PM 1256] Rank : Junkie Status : Member | |
#201
The secret is to keep them away from one another | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#202 How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#203 I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#204 Today my son asked me, “Can I have a bookmark?” I told him my name is not Mark, it’s Brian | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#205 I’m afraid for the Calendar. It’s days are numbered | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#206 What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#207 I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y. | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#208 I asked my dog, what is 2 minus 2. He said nothing. | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#209 How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles. | |
daz007 [PM 4128] Rank : Average Member Status : Member | |
#210 डॉक्टर ने महिला के मुंह में थर्मामीटर रख कर कुछ देर मुंह बंद रखने के लिए कहा. पत्नी को चुप देख कर पति ने पूछा- डॉक्टर साहब, ये जादुई चीज कितने की आती है? | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#211 Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares. | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#212 What does a sprinter eat before a race? Nothing, they fast. | |
MrNobody [PM 4323] Rank : Average Member Status : Member | |
#213 Person1234 or Aman1234 how many accounts u have dude? | |
MrNobody [PM 4323] Rank : Average Member Status : Member | |
#214 Spamming everywhere | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#215 Aman and I are not the same person. This is a joke thread, not a page for accusations, so who is really spamming here? To make this post useful, I’ll make sure it comes with a joke. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#216 “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#217 “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#218 Bob: “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.” Peter: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#219 “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#220 “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#221 “Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#222 “Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#223 There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#224 Ted Striker: “Surely you can’t be serious.” Dr. Rumack: “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#225 “Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#226 “I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#227 Lucy: “There’s just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.” Fred: “Your feet?” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#228 Coach: “How’s a beer sound, Norm?” Norm: “I don’t know, I usually finish before they get a word in.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#229 “There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#230 A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#231 “When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don’t have to shake hands.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#232 Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#233 “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#234 “That’s why New York is so great, though. Everyone you care about can despise you and you can still find a bagel so good, nothing else matters. Who needs love when you’ve got lox? They both stink, but only one tastes good.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#235 “Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician. | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#236 “Does it disturb anyone else that ‘The Los Angeles Angels’ baseball team translates directly to ‘The The Angels Angels’?” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#237 “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#238 “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#239 “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#240 “Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#241 “What do you mean, he don’t eat no meat? That’s okay, that’s okay. I make lamb.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#242 “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#243 “Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#244 My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#245 “I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#246 Police officer: “Pull over.” Harry: “No, it’s a cardigan. But thanks for noticing.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#247 “If we’re going to pay this much for crab, it better sing and dance and introduce us to the Little Mermaid.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#248 “Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at 350 for 30 minutes.” —Anonymous | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#249 “My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#250 Brian: “Look, you’ve got it all wrong. You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody. You’ve got to think for yourselves. You’re all individuals.” Crowd: “Yes, we’re all individuals!” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#251 “Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#252 “What they could do to make it easier is combine the two, real estate and obituaries: Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#253 “The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#254 “People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#255 “From the ages of eight to 18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#256 “The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat. So people who don’t know what they’re doing, or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#257 “I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#258 “My perfect beautiful miracle baby? Never slept. Ever. Never. Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit. You want to torture someone? Hand them an adorable baby they love who doesn’t sleep.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#259 “I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.” —Damien Fahey | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#260 “I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#261 “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#262 I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#263 Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#264 “I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#265 As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#266 “That’s why New York is so great, though. Everyone you care about can despise you and you can still find a bagel so good, nothing else matters. Who needs love when you’ve got lox? They both stink, but only one tastes good.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#267 “Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#268 “Does it disturb anyone else that ‘The Los Angeles Angels’ baseball team translates directly to ‘The The Angels Angels’?” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#269 Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#270 “To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#271 “Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#272 “My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#273 “There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#274 “I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#275 “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#276 “I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#277 “Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at 350 for 30 minutes.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#278 “I can’t end my messages with Love, Shaq because the B-52s ruined that for me.” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#279 Brian: “Look, you’ve got it all wrong. You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody. You’ve got to think for yourselves. You’re all individuals.” Crowd: “Yes, we’re all individuals!” | |
gustrzo [PM 2266] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#280 Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?” —Lillian (Maya Rudolph), Bridesmaids | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#281 What is the opposite of a croissant? I happy uncle. | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#282 When you die, what part of the body dies last? The pupils, they dilate. | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#283 I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me. | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#284 I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust. | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#285 I used to be addicted to soap. I’m clean now. | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#286 What do you call Bears with no ears? B. | |
Person1234 [PM 3836] Rank : Junior Member Status : Member | |
#287 Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen. | |
daz007 [PM 4128] Rank : Average Member Status : Member | |
#288 Could a ... ... librarian be called a bookkeeper? ... referee be a game warden? ... dairyman be a cowboy? ... cabinetmaker be the president? | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#289 पप्पू अपनी पत्नी से- अच्छा ये बताओ 'बिदाई' के समय तुम लड़कियां इतनी रोती क्यों हो? पत्नी- 'पागल' अगर तुझे पता चले... अपने घर से दूर ले जाकर कोई तुमसे 'बर्तन मंजवाएगा' तो तू क्या नाचेगा... | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#290 बैंक की cashier ने खिड़की पर खड़े आदमी को कहा 'पैसे नहीं है' ग्राहक: और दो मोदी माल्या को पैसा, सारे पैसे लेकर भाग गए विदेश में कैशियर ने खिड़की में से हाथ निकाला और उसकी गर्दन दबोच कर कहा 'साले बैंक में तो है तेरे खाते में नहीं है' भिखारी | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#291 पब्लिक टॉयलेट में लिखा था 'दुनिया चांद पर पहुंच गयी और तू यहीं पर बैठा है' पप्पू ने अपना दिमाग लगाया और नीचे लिखा 'चांद पर पानी नहीं था इसलिए वापस आ गया' | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#292 पति- प्यास लगी है पानी लेके आओ.. पत्नी- क्यों ना आज तुम्हें मटर पनीर और शाही पुलाव बनाकर खिलाऊं... पति- वाह वाह...! मुंह में पानी आ गया.. पत्नी- आ गया ना मुंह में पानी बस इसी से काम चला लो.. | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#293 टीचर- टिटू बताओ.. अकबर ने कब तक शासन किया था ? टिटू- सर जी.. पेज नंबर 14 से लेकर पेज नंबर 22 तक..। | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#294 गोलू- जानू, तुम दिन पर दिन खूबसूरत होती जा रही हो... पत्नी (खुश होकर)- तुमने कैसे जाना ? गोलू- तुम्हें देखकर... रोटियां भी जलने लगी हैं | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#295 टिल्लू (लड़की से)- मैं 18 साल का हूं और तुम ? लड़की- मैं भी 18 साल की हूं... टिल्लू- तो फिर चलो ना, इसमें शरमाना क्या.. लड़की- कहां ? टिल्लू- अरे पगली.. वोट देने और कहां... | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#296 मां- बेटा क्या कर रहे हो पप्पू- पढ़ रहा हूं मां.. मां- शाबास! बेटा क्या पढ़ रहे हो..? पप्पू- आपकी होने वाली बहु के SMS | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#297 टीचर- बच्चों कोई ऐसा वाक्य सुनाओ जिसमें हिंदी, पंजाबी, उर्दू और अंग्रेजी का प्रयोग हो.. पप्पू- सर .. 'इश्क दी गली विच ल No entry' | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#298 पत्नी- पूजा किया कीजिए, बड़ी बलांए टल जाती हैं... टिटू- हां... तुम्हारे पिताजी ने बहुत की होगी उनकी टल गई और मेरे पल्ले पड़ गई..। | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#299 पत्नी- पूजा किया कीजिए, बड़ी बलांए टल जाती हैं... टिटू- हां... तुम्हारे पिताजी ने बहुत की होगी उनकी टल गई और मेरे पल्ले पड़ गई..। | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#300 पति (फोन पर पत्नी से) – तुम बहुत प्यारी हो। पत्नी – थैंक्स। पति – तुम बिल्कुल राजकुमारी जैसी हो। पत्नी – थैंक्यू सो मच। और बताओ क्या कर रहे हो…? पति – खाली बैठा था, सोचा मजाक ही कर लूं। ??? ???? | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#301 “आज का ज्ञान” आदमी चाहे जितना भी बड़ा और, समझदार हो जाए। : लेकिन… : वो सीधे पैर और उल्टे पैर के, मोजों में कभी फर्क नहीं बता सकता। ??? ???? | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#302 Wife ने एक बोर्ड देखा बनारसी साड़ी 10/- नायलॉन 8/- कॉटन 5/- Wife खुश हो के अपने हस्बैंड से, मुझे Rs.500 दो, में 50 साड़ी खरीदुंगी। : ; Husband: अरी ओ बीरबल की माँ, press करने वाले की दुकान है वो। ??? ???? | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#303 12 साल बाद वो जेल से छूटा, मैले कुचैले कपड़ों में बहुत थका,, हुआ घर पहुंचा. घर पहुंचते ही,,, बीबी चिल्लाई: कहां घूम रहे थे इतनी देर? आपकी रिहाई तो 2 घंटे पहले ही हो गई थी ना? वो आदमी वापस जेल चला गया। ??? ???? | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#304 पप्पू – बचपन से ही शौक था अच्छा इंसान बनने का। गप्पू – फिर क्या हुआ, बन गए…? पप्पू – अरे कहां, बचपन खत्म। शौक खत्म। ??? ???? | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#305 दूल्हा – घूंघट उठाते हुए क्या मैं चेहरा देख लूं…? दुल्हन – हां, लेकिन देखकर डिलीट कर देना। | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#306 हालांकि मां ने कभी तंत्र विद्या नहीं सीखी है। लेकिन… जिस लड़की पर उनका बेटा फिदा होता है। मां एक नजर में बता देती है कि… वो चुड़ैल है…!!! | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#307 हमारी शक्सियत का अंदाज़ा तुम क्या लगाओगे गालिब, हम तो कब्रिस्तान से भी गुज़रते है तो मुर्दे उठ कर कहते है। : भाई लगी कही नौकरी…..???? | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#308 हम लड़के जब तक करियर बना कर अपने पैरो पर खड़े होते हे, तब तक हमारी क्लास की लड़कियों के बच्चे अपने पैरो पर चलने लगते हे। ??? ???? | |
RocksRahul [PM 45] Rank : SMS ExperT Status : Member | |
#309 एक अक्षर गलत होने की वजह से एक किताब की 10 लाख कॉपियां दो दिन में ही बिक गईं। : दरअसल, ये गलती उस किताब के टाइटल में हो गई थी। ; किताब का नाम था – ‘एक आइडिया जो आपकी लाइफ बदल दे, और गलती से हो गया – ‘एक आइडिया जो आपकी वाइफ बदल दे। ??? ???? |
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